Retuning from Haiti, I was not fully open to being sent to do the work that the Spirit was calling me to do, but God did not let the seed die. In 1998, I participated in a short term medical mission trip to Ecuador. My wife and I attended Cursillo. I became a postulant in The Third Order of the Society of Saint Francis, a religious order in the Anglican Communion. My wife and I then took the leap of faith, called the global mission office of the Episcopal Church and volunteered for mission work. The seed began to mature.

In 1999, I was called to serve in South Africa. Leaving my patients and their families tore at my heart, but I left them in the care of competent, compassionate, experienced colleagues. I served there for six months. My primary task was to teach obstetrics and gynecology. I also performed surgery, taught, and learned among the skilled physicians from Nepal, India, Uganda, Cuba, and South Africa. My arrogance as a white, privileged, American physician gradually was replaced by a sense of humility and respect.

I began to see and hear Christ in those who were not "Christian." In dialog with persons of other faith traditions I began to understand more deeply my own faith. I became more aware of the things that bring us together, rather than the things that divide us. I had a glimpse of the mission of God--the mission of reconciliation. I left Nashville with self-righteousness and returned with an understanding of mutuality and right relationships. I left as a creator of barriers between people and returned with a yearning to break down those barriers.

It was also in South Africa that I discovered "Tupper." For many years, I had been "Dr. Morehead." I learned who "Tupper" is, and I liked him. That was a profound learning for me. I also rediscovered the reasons I went to medical school, and I was able to live into the ministry of medicine, relying on clinical skills, diagnostic acumen, and years of experience, without the burden of the constant American threat of medical malpractice suits or the stress of mis-Managed Care and corporate take-over of the healing arts.

Returning to Nashville, I became a member of the faculty at Meharry Medical College and soon applied to seminary.

I had visited Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge, Massachusetts while visiting my wife's family. Every time I stepped on campus, I had a sense that I was supposed to be there--I just didn't know why. I had said "No" to attending seminary for many years. However, in 2000, I said "Yes," and was accepted at EDS. I continued to mature as a religious in The Third Order of the Society of St. Francis (see www.tssf.org ). During my three seminary years at seminary, I experienced urban ministry in Boston and New London, CT, as well as rural ministry among indigenous peoples in Alaska. I served as a chaplain at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. I became disciplined in asking "Where is God in this?" whenever an issue or situation presents itself.

In early 2003, I was in the process of vocational discernment. It seemed I was being led to a vocation of hospital chaplaincy. On a break from studying I was reading a medical journal when I noticed a ad for a public health officer in East Tennessee. I prayed. I reflected. I talked with my wife and my spiritual director. I wasn't sure whether to respond to the ad. I called to see what East Tennessee counties were involved and discovered they were in the Appalachian region. I researched the counties and found that three of the four counties were considered "distressed" as a result of unemployment and poverty. I also discovered that there were disparities in health care for persons living in Appalachia. It became apparent that although I had lived in middle Tennessee for essentially my entire life, I knew very little about Appalachian culture, other than my assumptions, biases, and prejudices. Here, in my own home state, was a culture on the margins, with little political voice, suffering from the effects of societal discrimination and injustice. I heard the Spirit say, "Apply for the position."

In February 2003, I submitted the application. I graduated Episcopal Divinity School in May, with plans to start a chaplain residency in Rhode Island after completing field education in urban and social justice ministry in New London, CT. I did not hear more about my application until June, when I received a call asking if I was still interested. After prayer and listening to the words of respected friends, I replied affirmatively. I went for interviews in July, and I accepted the position when it was offered.

Working and living in Anderson, Campbell, Morgan, and Scott counties, I am making connections and establishing relationships not only with the diocesan Appalachian Ministries committee, but with others doing outreach in Appalachia. Just as when I went to seminary, “I know I'm supposed to be here, but I'm not sure why yet.” I have seen and heard Jesus here in East Tennessee, just as he spoke two hundred years ago, saying, “Follow me. Do not be afraid.” I am sure that public health is all about social justice. I think that somehow this is my vocational calling. There is much work to be done here, and it is the work of reconciliation, restoring all people to health and unity with God and each other in Christ. So the journey continues.

---just tupper